Meeting Loved Ones
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away to the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are. HENRY SCOTT HOLLAND
There is nothing quite as reassuring as meeting our loved ones on the other side. It can make a profound difference to our lives.
My grandfather died when I was thirty. He suffered from Parkinson’s disease for over a decade. We watched this tall, capable, proud man wither away. He couldn’t speak or communicate, although his eyes remained bright and alert. He shuffled and, when my grandmother fed him, he dribbled. Understandably, she became annoyed and impatient with him at times, and I felt his humiliation.
After he passed, I was haunted by the memory of his suffering—locked in his body, unable to express his thoughts or his needs. Sometimes, as I walked through town, I would see elderly men whose gait reminded me of my grandfather. Each time, I felt a pain stabbing at the center of my being.
Then one night he came to me in a dream. Actually, it wasn’t a dream like other dreams. I was awake and asleep at the same time. I didn’t understand at the time, but I know now it was a lucid dream. I asked him what it had been like being trapped in that failing body. He smiled. ‘It was fine,’ he said. I felt his joy and his love. He was perfectly at peace.
From that moment on, the ache I had suffered was gone, never to return. I was puzzled. How could all that pain, years of yearning and sadness, be taken away so simply?
I was astounded at the transformation in me and I never forgot that powerful experience that probably lasted no more than a minute.
It didn’t happen in a regression, but my waking dream resembled a regression in many ways. During a regression we are lucid and present, while our focus is directed to other realms. We report what is happening, which helps us remember. But profound experiences, like feeling the love and acceptance of someone we adored, cannot be forgotten. They live on like a light inside us, leading us forward with a renewed feeling of peace, and with a clear sense that all is well.
Most people who regress to their life between lives visit loved ones who have passed. Sometimes such contact has a transformative impact on the individual’s life. Here are some cases that illustrate a variety of experiences of people meeting loved ones on the other side.
Urraca
Urraca came to see me because she felt trapped in Australia. She and her husband were from Germany. He was the one who wanted to come to Australia. As an engineer, he found it easy to get a job. Although the move was supposed to be temporary, he liked Australia so much that he wanted to stay. Urraca loved her husband but missed her family back in Germany. She felt sad for her parents because both their daughters lived in other countries. She realised she was starting to develop a grudge against her husband. She wanted to find a way to be at peace. She thought a past life might show her the way forward. She’d been feeling very stuck and bitter.
Urraca mentioned during our initial discussion that her grandmother had chosen her name. She had been named after her grandfather, Urraco. He was a lovely man who had died before Urraca was born. The grandmother herself had died when Urraca was sixteen. Urraca loved her dearly and carried her photo in her wallet.
Urraca asked to experience a past life that would show her how to navigate her current crisis.
In the first scene she is a young woman in her twenties, wandering around in a large meadow. She is dressed in shorts, top and sandals. She is looking for someone. She wonders where all the people are and feels a strong sense of being lost.
I am getting a bit stressed. Where is everyone? Where are they? I hear someone saying I didn’t follow directions and I got lost. I went the wrong way and got confused.
We move on to another scene, hoping to find some understanding. Now Urraca is a woman wearing loose black cotton clothes. She is standing in a huge room beside a table. There are about twenty people watching her from some distance away. She cannot identify their faces.
I am scared. I am alone. I have feeling that I have done something wrong. These people are staring at me but I don’t want to look at their faces. I am afraid to go towards them. I want someone to take me away from this room.
Now I am walking towards them. There is no other way out. They are slowly moving out of my way. I am stepping outside. It is a very bright day and the light blinds me. I cover my eyes. I can’t see things. I have stopped; I’ve frozen up. I feel very lost. I want someone to guide me and get me out of here.
We move to another scene. This time Urraca is in a busy city. People pass her by but they do not seem to notice her.
I am crying a lot now. I need to calm down and pull myself together and get out of this mess. I am so lost I cannot remember how I got here.
I ask Urraca if she wants her guide to come and help her. She soon senses a comforting presence at her side. Her guide is wearing a white robe and hood. She doesn’t know whether the guide is male or female. The guide takes her hand and leads her along a path.
The hand is gentle and old, wrinkly and comforting. I am following the guide. It is daytime and it is beautiful and green. I am recognising the hand. The rings on the hand are the same as my grandmother’s. I call out for her and she turns and I see her.
Urraca is now crying.
She passed away when I was sixteen. She is taking me to a safe place... I can see my grandfather. He is so happy to see us.
We are hugging and embracing each other. I am very happy. My grandfather has kissed my forehead. That is the way my husband embraces and kisses my daughter. I wonder about this. ‘It’s the love,’ my grandfather tells me. ‘It is love that your husband has for his daughter. Unconditional love. The same love I have for you.’
So finally, I have met my grandfather. I have never seen him in my life. He is very lovely. We are so happy.
Urraca weeps freely as she experiences her grandfather’s love. I give her some time to enjoy this highly emotional reunion before suggesting that she ask her grandparents why she had been feeling so lost.
My grandparents look at each other and smile when I ask this question.
My grandfather is saying that I am trying to find myself. I don’t know what I am doing and I am trying to find happiness and peace of mind. That is why I experienced these scenarios where I felt confused and lost.
He is asking me to follow my heart and not think too much. He is saying I go too much into the details and difficulties of things. I am to follow my heart and do what I feel is right, more than what I think is right. If I am in a situation where my mind is saying one thing and my heart is saying something else, deep inside I will know the right choice. He says I spend too much time thinking and worrying and feeling stuck. I am to make a decision and move on.
My grandmother is saying that my husband is a nice person who loves me and who does everything he can for us. She is asking me what more do I want?
I feel reassured. I knew this, but when someone who I look up to confirms this, it is comforting.
She knows I worry about my parents, because I’m living so far away from them. She is saying my parents are fine. They know how to look after themselves. I do not need to worry about them. They are there for each other. There is nothing more they can ask for. Now I am feeling a great deal of relief.
I am asking my grandmother about my past lives with my husband. She is telling me she is sure that I have had past lives with my husband.
Even though they are my grandparents from this life, they are hugging me like my parents.
Now I feel the love from my husband, but I have shut down and become bitter. Knowing that, I feel sad. I want to open up and be carefree and bring back some cheerfulness.
My grandparents are telling me my job is to support my husband and my support is very important. He needs my love and encouragement to succeed. This love between us is more important than what country we are in.
In my heart, I know my husband and I share a deep love. I’m grateful to my grandparents for reminding me of this. In my frustration with him I had diminished that love.
My grandparents have given me a sense of direction. My part in all of this has just been made clear.
After Urraca came out of the trance she felt light and happy.
I could feel each and every moment and every step I went through. It is my first time being hypnotised but my visuals were very clear. In the beginning I was puzzled and felt so lost. But the conversation I had with my grandparents seemed so real. I stopped feeling lost. Now I know what I have to do.
Urraca had a profound experience meeting her grandparents. She had not specifically asked for a meeting with them, so it came as something of a surprise. However, they gave her exactly what she needed. She trusted them explicitly, and they proved to be the perfect messengers for her. Urraca was going right off-track with her life, becoming more negative and bitter. Her grandparents lovingly gave her the guidance she needed. Not only did she have a wonderful meeting with her loved ones, she also received the information she sought.
I contacted Urraca recently, four years after her regression. She is now happily settled in Australia with her husband and children. Rereading this account moved her to tears. ‘It’s such a beautiful and pure honest moment to revisit,’ she told me. Meeting her grandparents and experiencing the power of their love had transformed her marriage, and her attitude to life.
Marimar
Marimar’s father died when she was two years old. Because she was so young, his death had little meaning for her. At the age of twenty she attended a retreat in Bali. During those six months, memories of her father surfaced, and she worked through her feelings of loss.
Eight years later she lost her mother. this affected her profoundly. Her grief manifested as anxiety, anger, and distraction. Marimar couldn’t cope with her two young children. She needed her husband to help manage the day-to-day running of the household. She also yearned for his emotional support. Unfortunately, his fly-in fly-out job in mining kept him interstate for weeks at a time.
A year after her mother died, still struggling with her loss, Marimar comes for a life between lives regression.
She accesses a past life as a six-year-old girl. This experience brings her into communion with her departed father. She reports a series of vignettes, suffused with vivid imagery and compelling emotions.
I am in a field on a sunny day, picking sunflowers and enjoying nature. I can smell bread being baked by my mother who is in the house with the baby. It gives me a feeling of being warm, safe and comfortable.
I see Dad arriving home in his old-fashioned car and I feel so much joy. He is running to me and hugging me and twirling me around. He shares the same soul as my dad in my current life. His love is so powerful, I can take it with me, this feeling of love that is so huge.
I can see it all so clearly, the rounded car and the little cottage.
When I transition Marimar to another scene, she goes to an earlier life, which draws her closer to her mother. This time she is five years old, lying in a wrought-iron bed in the family’s home.
I am very ill, very small, very thin with little stick legs. The room is familiar and comforting but I am very tired and weak. My mother holds my hand. I sense that she shares the same soul as my mother in my current life.
I am seeing a bright light, and everything feels as it should be. It’s funny to be dying and feeling so calm. It’s sad for those left behind but fine for me. The light is bright and flickering and I feel that it’s calling me.
Now I can look down and see my body with my mother crunched over me. She is sad and crying, while I am feeling warm and fuzzy.
Marimar ascends and is greeted by members of her soul group. They envelop her in the warmth of their love.
My maternal grandmother is here and I am feeling the love from her. Now all the souls are there who have passed away in my current life, my mum, my dad and my grandma. They circle around me, letting me know I am safe and loved.
[Tears fall from Marimar’s eyes.]
Next, her guides approach. They reveal some hidden truths to her; truths that have the power to change her perspective on life, and on her grief.
I sense my guides around me now, telling me to look below. I can see the whole world below me and I am receiving a strong sense that the world is full of love, not heartache. Earth is such a loving beautiful place, it is like magic. I can see how we all get too caught up in all the things that are happening externally, the news, the disasters and all the things that don’t matter to us personally and that are not even related to our life.
Apart from losing my mother, there is little suffering in my life. Losing her is part of my path. It is teaching me how to cope with great loss. I have such huge love from my husband and children and that will get me through, as well as the support from my soul family who have my back.
I feel my dad’s energy close to me now, his love. It is the same love my husband gives me and my daughter. I am part of a family now on Earth. It warms my heart when my husband comes home and twirls our daughter around like my dad did with me in the sunflower life.
I feel my mother holding me, surrounding me with love. I am learning that it was her time to go. She had done enough, and losing her is a test for me. I left her in that past life when I was five and she left me in this life. I was fine and I get that she is fine, too.
My father passed to help my mother grow, and me too. We both are learning these lessons about grief and my past lives were part of my learning. Now he is back, sharing the same soul as my daughter. He is going to have a longer life this time.
After the session, Marimar writes two long emails to me. She reports how much her life has changed after meeting her passed loved ones, and receiving so much information about her purpose. Here is an extract:
I feel so much better, so different and so happy with my family, my dear husband and my darling children. I still shed tears for my mum but that is natural and a part of it, but I can cope now and that is the difference. I feel like super-mum again with my dear children and not at all impatient and on edge like I was the past few months. I feel lots of inner calm and peace.
I got so much from my past life with my dad. I didn't even go into the regression thinking about losing him as a toddler. And yet I experienced such a deep healing from him and so much joy knowing his soul has incarnated as my daughter.
Marimar’s case demonstrates the life-changing consequences that flow from meeting our soul family on the other side. Her experiences during the session are impossible to fully convey. Her words help, but there is nothing as powerful as feeling, in every cell of your body, the unconditional love of a close relative who has passed.
Sonia
Sonia has experienced much loss after her marriage. She gave birth to a baby at twenty-nine weeks, and named her Raquel. Raquel only lived for four months before she died. Later, Sonia became pregnant again, but miscarried at eleven weeks. She eventually carried two babies to term who survived, and lavished her attention on them. Her sons are now in their teens. Her losses were not the reason Sonia sought a regression. She had other issues she wanted to address.
Before proceeding to her life between lives, Sonia accesses a past life as a young woman called Victoria, in the nineteenth century.
Victoria is married to a man of considerable wealth, living in a large, well-positioned home. She has a son who she loves dearly, but he becomes ill and dies at the age of eight. While heartbroken, she doesn’t grieve. Instead, Victoria becomes angry—angry with fate that her little boy was taken, angry with anyone who seems happy while she remains trapped in her pain.
Sometimes I feel like killing my husband and his parents. I don’t understand them. I don’t know how they can move on so quickly.
With more questioning, we find out they didn’t really move on that quickly. They grieved for twelve months, but years later Victoria still feels bitter about losing her son.
I think about killing myself every day. I think about throwing myself off a cliff or under a train. I ride my horse so hard it’s a wonder I don’t fall off, and I wouldn’t care if I did.
Her husband and family find her difficult to deal with. Eventually, she shuts down emotionally. She feels neither happy nor sad. She is simply numb. When her time comes, she is pleased to leave. She dies in her fifties.
During her meeting with the Council, she comes to several realizations. She didn’t know how to express her feelings to her husband. She felt devastated by her loss, but she didn’t know how to grieve. Afraid to feel the pain of losing her son, she instead became angry. Her suicidal thoughts calmed her, and helped her cope. She had to shut down emotionally to survive because otherwise she could have gone mad. The purpose of that life—and her current life—is to learn how to deal with loss.
Her guides take her to meet her soul group. After reconnecting with several people, she suddenly starts weeping.
She cries so profusely she can hardly get her words out. ‘It’s Raquel...’
Sonia weeps for nearly ten minutes. I know she is overwhelmed with the emotion of this unexpected reunion. Eventually, she cries herself dry, and finds her voice.
Raquel is an adult, such a beautiful young adult. She is wearing a robe and looks like a Greek priestess. I have such a strong connection with her. She is telling me I lost her three times. She was the child in that past life and she was the miscarriage and the baby I lost. She is not used to the heaviness of the Earth energies and finds them very challenging. It was planned that she would leave early in both that past life and my current life. She is getting used to the Earth energies and I am learning how to deal with loss.
It is funny I called her Raquel. I found out later it means ‘innocent.’ She is telling me she chose the name she wanted, and sent it to me.
They are telling me that I am learning to blend the earth energies with the spiritual energies. It is all about loss, loss of loved ones. On Earth we think the person who died is dead and that the connection is broken. In the spirit world we know that isn’t true. We don’t really die and our energy is still connected to each other. Even if we are unaware of the connection, we are always connected.
It is now coming to me that I haven’t really dealt with loss in my current life either. I didn’t grieve the loss of the babies that died. I got pregnant soon after and focussed all my attention on them. That was another way of distracting myself from the pain.
In both her past life and her current life Sonia feared fully feeling her loss, so she kept finding ways to avoid it. In her past life, she held herself together by shutting down emotionally and becoming numb. If she hadn’t, she might have gone insane, given the depth of her grief.
By relaxing into the trance and experiencing that past life, Sonia created an opening for herself. She was finally able to grieve her losses. She discovered that avoiding grief resolves nothing. Grief is a form of energy. If unexpressed, it lies dormant within our psyche, waiting for the day when we are strong enough, open enough and wise enough to release it.
Xandru
Three months before Xandru embarked upon his life between lives session, his young brother had committed suicide. There were several reasons why Xandru wanted to undertake the regression—he had a number of physical and emotional health problems—but an important one was to see his brother. He had spoken to me just a month after his brother died. As he was still grieving, I suggested we give it more time. After giving it much thought, he agreed to delay the session. There was a reason why I believed giving it more time was important, and this case will illustrate why.
During his visit to his life between lives, Xandru was guided to the Council of Elders.
I am being welcomed and told it is a place of peace and learning. I have asked if I can see my brother but I am told that some others want to see me first. There are two cats who were members of our family. One of the cats is here now, Aquiles.
Aquiles wants me to know that there is nothing more I could have done for him at the end of his life. I am to stop thinking about his death and think about when he was alive. He wants me to know he loves me very much. He is purring and rubbing right up against me and doing all the affectionate things cats do.
Now Aquiles is gone.
There is another cat here named Samson. He has no particular message. He just wanted to say hello. He is doing what he used to do when he was alive. He is sitting beside me with a very interested expression on his face. He is letting me know that he wanted to see me. He loves me and misses me, and the rest of the family. He is very happy. He misses the interaction he used to have with us. He liked all the affection we gave him and he gave us. He also enjoyed playing and teasing. It was a unique relationship. He is looking forward to seeing us again. He is going to hang around here with his interested expression while I am with the Council. He likes being around me.
I feel like my father is moving close but he is not here. Still, I feel his presence. He is not coming in because he is moving to another incarnation. It is all to do with him. He is not able to give the proper attention to what is happening here. His energy is focused on his new life. I am getting a sense of him being a teenager. He is very much engaged with the energy of that new incarnation right now and he is not able to engage with me.
It is disappointing but understandable.
I am asking if my brother can come. But I don’t think he can just yet. Perhaps he will come later in the session.
The Council invited Xandru to ask his list of questions. I read them out for him, deliberately leaving the question about his brother until last. His mother hoped that the session would prove that her son was still alive on the other side. She was hoping for a specific message from him. The question that Xandru had framed for the Council was: ‘Is it possible to interact with my brother?’ This is what Xandru was told.
My brother can give messages at this time but he cannot come here. I am worried that my mother may not receive the confirmation she needs, and this worry is blocking me.
There is a message about his childhood that he is trying to get across. It is something to do with Christmas. [Xandru pauses.] I have a terrible pain in my chest... It is grief.
I suggest that Xandru allow this pain to dissipate by giving it lots of space. This does not eliminate the pain, although it eases a little at times.
I think my brother is referencing the ties that we had as children when we grew up together. Even after he grew up and started a family of his own, he still felt he was part of our family: me and mum and dad and our other brother. Even when he was away, he always felt that home was a place of safety. He knew that he could come home whenever he was truly in need.
I’m getting a lot of physical pain in my chest—so much that I have to stop.
I got the sense from the Council that I am not psychologically ready to let go of that pain. It would be like letting go of my brother. I am letting go but I am doing it by increments. The other reason is the sense of grief acting as a crucible. The loss of my brother is forcing me to change and make difficult decisions. It is helping me move forward and helping me grow. The sense of loss is helping me.
Xandru came out of the trance satisfied that he had received some genuine information from his brother. He had anticipated an emotional reunion, but his grief was too raw. Before he could interact with his brother, he needed to move past his intense grief. He was simply not ready.
He was pleased to know his brother’s death is having a healing effect on his life. He sees this great loss as a wake-up call. He is starting to make important decisions that will address his psychological and physical problems. I suggested it was a gift from his brother. Xandru agreed and said he wanted to use that gift wisely and graciously.
He said he intended to allow his grief to heal more fully. Afterwards, at some point well in the future, he hoped to visit his life between lives to contact his brother.
Conclusion
When I do a regression, I only guarantee one thing: that the client will get what he or she needs.
Urraca, in the first case, did not expect to see her grandparents. She only wished to find the answer to her dilemma. She felt great joy when her grandparents appeared. Because she trusted them unconditionally, their presence helped her accept and integrate their wise advice.
Marimar not only saw her mother during the session, as hoped, she also met her father and grandmother. This reunion made a huge difference to her daily life, putting her back on track and able to love and appreciate her family.
Sonia healed many losses during her session. She met the soul of the babies she had lost. She also learned that the losses were planned, designed for the higher good of both her and the babies.
Xandru desperately wanted to interact with his brother but his desperation worked against him. Any negativity, even grief, can block the flow of information in the higher realms. He was shown, however, that connection with those who have passed is possible. This was demonstrated by the appearance of his two deceased cats that both expressed love for him and his family.
Xandru was also open and sensitive to the loss of his brother. Seeing his brother at this stage of his grieving may have been overwhelming.
I have had other clients who came to see me soon after losing someone precious. In most cases, they did connect with their loved ones. One mother lost her children in an accident and both children came through during the life between lives. I noted that she had not grieved, feeling emotionally shut down. The children coming through opened her up emotionally.
The desire to connect with loved ones is a legitimate objective in our life between lives. And although our desire is usually honoured, there is no way of knowing for sure whether the loved one will appear. All we can really know is that whatever happens is for the highest good of all.
When the loved one does appear, I regard it as a great privilege to be present. Observing a client connecting with a loved one is a poignant experience for them and also for me. Quite often I find tears welling up in my eyes while tears are flowing down the cheeks of my client. I have some idea what they are experiencing. During my regressions, I have felt so much love flow into my heart and body that it overwhelmed me. It is an amazing feeling of coming home, of being completely cherished and accepted. Having experienced such intensity, I cannot help but sense the joy in my clients as they make these connections, especially since the connections are often with loved ones who they thought were lost to them.
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